Atomic Cinema of the Nuclear Age


This is a friendly list of movies I have seen in which nuclear or atomic devices are used. I feel that this is commendable in today's society as a totally unrealistic portrayal on the part of Hollywood of anything scientific allows those of us with scientific knowledge to maintain our superiority.


Movies are rated by the REM-o-metertm. You can think of it as one to five, or one hundred to five hundred, depending on the level of lethality you want in your radiation rating system. According to UC Berkeley's "Radiation Safety Guide," 95 percent of people exposed in a short time to 550 REMs die. Please bear this in mind while watching these movies. Ratings are based variously on the quality of the movie, the coolness and gratuity of the use of nuclear devices, and how funnily bad it may be, depending on the movie. Think of it as an enjoyment scale for warped minds.

Movie Comments REM-o-metertm

True Lies

Nuking a part of Florida and a fistfight on a Harrier? The 30s live!!! Picture11

King Dinosaur

When going on an interplanetary scientific expedition, pack along a nuke to cover up evidence of your own stupidity. Warning: Lizards were harmed in the making of this movie. Picture16

Dr. Strangelove

or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I think this has to take the prize for coolest use and user of Atomic weaponry. Picture21

By Dawn's Early Light

An innovative use of intercontinental-range nuclear-capable strategic bombers here on the part of the Buff drivers. Bravo! Picture26

The Amazing Colossal Man

Pity the radiation dose that grew Glen (or Glenda?) to his Colossal size didn't render him sterile and prevent the sequel to this movie. Picture31

Stargate

Apparently, the Big Powerful Alien is so confused about his sexuality that he forgets to pack along a Geiger counter and gets nuked. Rule #1 of interplanetary diplomacy--always pack an atom bomb to let 'em know you care. Picture36

Superman

Anyone with the taste to nuke Southern California and New Jersey should immediately be praised, not jailed! Picture41

Superman II

Just a couple of wimpy Frenchmen blowing up an elevator. Pity Jerry Lewis wasn't inside. Picture46

Bride of the Monster/Bride of the Atom

Stock footage of a lightning bolt strikes stock footage of an octopus which explodes in stock footage of a nuke. Ed Wood at his best. Actually the same stock nuke as in King Dinosaur. Picture51

Terminator II

See what will happen if we don't destroy Microsoft!?!? Picture56

Goldeneye

Reagan's Star Wars X-ray lasers come back to prove that sexism is the key to global security. Picture61

Broken Arrow

I knew there was a reason we hung onto all that old underground testing footage... Picture66

Independence Day

This gets especially high marks for both the target of the true nuclear device, as well as the excellent destructive power of the alien kill-o-zap guns. Picture71

Mars Attacks!

More kill-o-zap guns and an appreciation of the destructive power of Slim Whitman. Picture76

Starship Troopers

Doogie Howser leads a kinder, gentler Gestapo to get close to small atomic devices and really get to know your glow. Does it disturb anyone else that the two most fascist films of the decade were made by Germanic Europeans? Picture81

Peacemaker

My brother says it's entertaining. Picture86

More to come....

If you know of any of the movies I have missed, please .