…but that ain’t stoppin’ me:
Attorney bitten by shark. (May soon disappear behind a paywall.)
Tsk, tsk. Whatever happened to professional courtesy?
Note: joke also works with poisonous snakes and vultures.
That’s a video for those on an aggregator. I agree with the line, “May I call you George? You can call me ‘Mr. Shatner.’” Shatner knows how to take ham and make it fun. Lucas just calls it Jar-Jar and pummels you with it and revises his earlier stuff to make it suck more.
I am on occasion forgetful, but you think I’d remember to do something really important, like die in a giant tsunami.
I have received information psychically, which is corroborated by scientific data, according to which on May 25, 2006 a giant tsunami will occur in the Atlantic Ocean, brought about by the impact of a comet fragment which will provoke the eruption of under-sea volcanoes. Waves up to 200 m high will reach coastlines located above and below the Tropic of Cancer.
Hmmm…well, all coastlines are either above or below the Tropic of Cancer. And a 200 meter wave would completely engulf Washington, DC. So I can’t believe I spaced on that!
According to informed sources, contacts in the American intelligence services confirm the existence of a time window of 48 hours, centered on May 25th at midnight GMT, for the impact a comet fragment south of the Azores.
This corroborates information of an evacuation exercise of the U.S. Congress to occur later in the day of May 25th, information which reached us this morning.
Er…didn’t make the papers. And since 24 hours before and after midnight May 25th GMT (totalling 48) have already passed, I’d say the most unusually–and, might I add, commendably–specific psychic prediction I’ve ever seen does not seem to have borne out.
Best of luck next time, guys! I’m sure the psychic thing will eventually be proved, probably 1e200000 years from now. On May 25. Around tea-time.
So you’re a fan of Serenity and Mystery Science Theater 3000.
What else could there be to complete your life, but a transcript of a hypothetical MST3K treatment of Serenity?
No, Ginger, don’t go there until you’re a “Firefly” fan and have seen the movie.
Mine: “You like participating in competitive sports.”
Sure, in the aforementioned Bizarro World!
Via Radley Balko, I give you Super Communist Mario Brothers.
See, the deadlines that are the deadlines are not the deadlines. Those deadlines aren’t the real deadlines, just the deadlines that were given to you. The real deadlines are set by whoever can bug you enough to get their particular work done by their deadline, which they can’t tell you or then the magic would go away and the terrorists would win and there wouldn’t be any more unicorns.
Now, the unicorns live in the time between the real deadline and the deadline you get. Terrorists know this and threaten to expose the real deadlines to people who do the work. But project managers know that they can’t let unicorns die, so they hide the real deadlines as their parents and their parents before them hid deadlines in the dread Forest of Real Deadlines.
Of course, you’re responsible for meeting the real deadline or unicorns will turn into horses, so the poor project manager is left with no other choice but to harangue you and rearrange your schedule five times until you give up and do their task before the deadline they told you. But if you are lazy and believe the deadline they tell you, you’ll create another horse.
So basically, horses only exist because lazy people don’t meet the real deadline. But if you find out the real deadline, the unicorn explodes in an atomic fireball. This happened twice in quick succession in Japan, shaming the Emperor and causing him to capitulate to American project managers.
They learned their lesson well, which is why there are no horses in Japan but lots of horses for gay cowboys to ride in the US. Gay cowboys can’t ride horses in Japan, which makes them very sad, but not as sad as if the unicorns all died. So don’t ask gay cowboys what the real deadlines are. They won’t tell you.
I hope this clears things up.
No, not gay, as Mac OS X users. On the heels of my friend Jason loving his company’s 12″ G4 PowerBook, Joshuah Micah Fetang Fetang Marshall switches as well.
But the funniest comment on the switch-hitting is Andrew Sullivan’s (who is gay):
Mine is 17 inches and I whip it out whenever and wherever I need to.
Having a pseudo-wife or pseudo-husband at work may not only make you happier with your job but may even improve your chances for promotions and raises, according to a report Friday.
Non-romantic “marriages” in the workplace are the newest craze in office romance, the New York Post said, citing a survey by Vault Inc., a career research and consulting company.
Non-romantic “marriages” in the workplace are the newest craze in office romance. Marriages for convenience/arrangement or for whom the romance has died I get. But if it’s non-romantic it can’t be romance but if it’s romance it should be romantic and…
Well, there went my brain for the day.
Here are some patterns that could bring me ’round to the idea of knitting. Aside from Doctor Who scarf patterns, of course. What’s that? Never thought you’d ask.
