Unbeknownst to Me

<Nelson>New virus causes Windows users pain. Ha-ha!</Nelson>

When I hear “Hey Ya” as the backing music to two commercials in a row, the song’s hipness is officially “Over.”

This of course means we’ll be musically bludgeoned with it for a year until the suits get the memo.

This concerns not just this incident but 7 or 8 others I’ve had in the past 10 years or so…is it McDonald’s official corporate policy not to have milkshakes? I ask this in all seriousness because across the Eastern seabord and on the West coast I have several times attempted to purchase a simple vanilla milkshake, and EVERY TIME your franchisee has claimed that the “machine is down” or you’re “out”. So I have to ask–bait and switch?

I mean, is there a picture of your CEO actually holding a McDonald’s milkshake and a current newspaper? Practically the only thing I’ve ever really liked at your place prior to 1994 or so was the milkshakes, and now apparently you no longer actually have them, just list them for old time’s sake on the menu.

That’s it. I will now drive waaaay out of my way to find a Burger King the next time I want a simple milkshake–as such appears to be beyond the capacity of the McDonald’s corporation. If you’ve wondered why sales have been off–well, here’s a clue.

Eat McDonald’s food and McDie,
Sandy

“I’m confused,” said in a smug tone.

Translation:

“My parents made up my mind for me when I was 3 years old, but I’ll feign confusion over a false dichotomy based on fallacious assumptions designed to make me feel better about a choice I never thought about, while pretending I’m part of the intelligensia.”

See also “pseudointellectuals” and “People who think Joseph Campbell is deep.”

PS - I know the Roman numerals are bullshit.

Update: If you’re wondering who Joseph Campbell is, read this. Basically he is the pseudointellectual justification that people who think Star Wars had any validity beyond a range war in space hide behind. He notes that various myths all have heroes in them that…do stuff…and then…learn something. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

How ’bout a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up?

Go read Marginal Revolution. It is sort of like a libertarian John Robb, but instead of just pointing to things (”Interesting article on Unbeknownst to Me”), Tyler Cohen and crowd usually have enough commentary for you to decide whether or not you agree, and they frequently write very insightful original pieces.

And it’s almost universally interesting, which is something I can’t say about 99.9% of the blogs I read, including my own.

Be warned, the syndication link is just above their Google search box and not especially easy to see.

It’s 2004, and it’s time to face some facts.

• USE OF ALL CAPS MEANS YOU’RE EVEN BIGGER AN IDIOT THEN THE IDIOTS WHO CAN’T GRASP HOW TO MAKE WORD’S PLURAL, CANT DEAL WITH CONTRACTIONS, THAN CANT REMEMBER SIMPLE THINGS LIKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “THEN” AND “THAN”. As much as Internet spelling and grammar irk me, use of all caps should force your sterilization.
• Naughty words abound in movies, comedy, theatrical productions, and popular music. These words are also less naughty than they used to be, by dint of desensitization if nothing else. Deal with it.

I don’t care if you’re sixty or 18, there’s just no friggin’ excuse anymore.